[Dumbass] Today's schoolteacher sex scandal brought to you by an elite private school in Montreal. Teacher's photo shows more skin than most of these stories

[Obvious] What cops want during a traffic stop. Doughnuts curiously absent

[Followup] Holey throat, Batman Turns out that the man who performed a tracheotomy on himself has had previous experience

[Cool] The most awesome three headed bee you'll see all day

[Stupid] Police raid flea market, preventing sales of counterfeit Chanel, Prada and Louis Vuitton items to buyers who will now undoubtedly purchase the real McCoy. That's some mighty fine use of police resources, Lou

[Interesting] National Bicycle Dealers Association reports strong spike in bicycle sales. In other news, a National Bicycle Dealers Association actually exists

[Weird] Wal-Mart store detective gives chase to woman who shoplifted baby wipes. Stroller overturns, discharging baby and wipes. Mother clobbers detective with baby wipes. Then it gets weird

[Cool] Michigan lady just decided to pay $20.00 for a $1.00 parking ticket given to her back in 1976. "Please don't try and track me down. I am a respectable lady"

[Stupid] If you're a white officer in the NYPD and are going to hassle a black motorist, make sure he isn't one of the highest ranking officers in the department

[Interesting] Family says girl's mouth taped shut at school. Girl says, "mmm mm mmmmm mm mmmmmmm mm mmm"

[Amusing] The first rule of Cuddle Party is, you do not talk -- No wait, it's keep your pajamas on

[Photoshop] Photoshop this ferocious dog

[Weird] Ohio man jailed when 18-year old daughter fails to pass GED exam

[Interesting] Mother's Day was invented 100 years ago in Philadelphia to make up for their deep hatred of Santa Claus

[Scary] "I love her dearly," mother says of daughter who allegedly plotted to kill her. Mother's Day just got a bit... awkward

[Interesting] "Babylosers" more educated than their "babyboomer" parents, but have worse jobs and lower standard of living. Suck it, overqualified, underpaid, hippie-spawn

[Sad] Tourists wonder if New Hampshire could do something about the gravity, or post a sign warning of spacetime curvature ahead, or something like that

[Dumbass] So you decided to rob a donut shop? And all you had was a BB gun? And this was in Texas? How did THAT work out for ya?

[Interesting] Thinking of having an office affair? Before you and your object of desire head to the supply room to make the beast with two backs, you might want to check your employment contract

[Weird] It tastes sweet, like a cross between lamb and duck. It's low-fat, free-range, and environmentally conscious. Squirrel: the new "green" meat