Now that Al Gore has a Nobel Peace Prize, his creation might be next [Spiffy]

Large Hadron Collider misses again. This is not a repeat from 2011 [Fail]

Tips for helping your dog to age gracefully. Apparently getting him a toupee and a Corvette doesn't cut it [Interesting]

Next stop on the Failboni thin ice pond tour - Keystone, CO (with sinking zamboni pic) [Fail]

10 impressive-looking dishes that are deceptively easy to make. Your dog wants some coq au vin [Cool]

Driver charged with DUI hit nearly triple the legal threshold for drunkenness. Fortunately, she didn't hit anything else with her school bus full of kids [Scary]

Vitamin D may help reduce the risk of almost any disease, say doctors who are trying to milk this information campaign for all it's worth [Interesting]

More miracles from modern medicine: "They said there was a rare, but real chance that my bottom jaw would become infected and might have to be removed" [Scary]

The US Supreme Court cannot afford to be seen taking the side of one corporation over another corporation [Obvious]

Defectors spill details of Kim Il-sung and Kim Jong-il's secret network of agents, whose mission was purchasing Western goods from classified shopping lists [Strange]

Fresh off an armed raid of three bars for violating a silly administrative policy on beer, State Police raid a city beer distributor and seize cases of expensive Belgian and German brews [Asinine]

Is the number of earthquakes on the rise? Are we employing sheep's bladders properly to defend ourselves? [Obvious]

Research shows, Problem Children twice as likely to suffer chronic pain as adults. Karma tag sleeping peacefully [Ironic]

First day on the job, the new editor of Jezebel talked about her constipation. Of course, that attracted a dude with a fetish. So she interviewed him [Strange]

Photoshop this focused flow [Photoshop]

Next time your school's booster club is having a sale of donated items, be sure to go through the stuff and remove the porn, pirated DVDs and Aryan Nation publications [PSA]

Miami residents can now go online to report municipal problems like trash littering the street. Service to be online in time for Jersey Shore cast to arrive [Interesting]

If you think fish can't live to be 43 years old, you don't know Buttkiss [Cool]

Town puts of street signs warning drivers of drunk pedestrians. With a picture that any Farker would be proud of [Cool]

Car designers in 1958 thought we'd drive two-wheeled cars that were guided by radar and balanced by gyroscopes in the year 2000. Instead, we're driving Camry's with problematic pedals [Fail]

NYPD informs public that rooftop sculptures are not jumpers, and that gargoyles are harmless as long as you DO NOT BLINK [Silly]

Records show Ohio State shooter had complained his bosses were treating him unfairly, had taken his red stapler [Followup]

Mad Men Barbie dolls - now we can have sexist office politics in the comfort of our own basements - in easily washable plastic, no less [Spiffy]

Jon Stewart to Bush crony Marc Theissen. "It's a very selective world in which you live and it must be quite lovely but here in the real world things aren't so cut and dried" [Hero]

Prosecutor says that ex-sportscaster was so anxious to help a 14-year old girl in distress that he asked her pimp if he could get with her again [Unlikely]

"... and make sure the soldiers bring a tank, I wanna ride in a tank" [Hero]

Cool: Teacher gives classroom full of students a lesson in structural integrity. Not so cool: she was driving her jeep at the time [Dumbass]

Another benefit of Cuba's socialized healthcare: Free sex change operations [Cool]

74-year old woman accidentally goes through car wash on the outside of her car [Strange]

You'll be happy to know that TSA screener feeling up your daughter isn't really into her -- he already has a 14 year old girlfriend named "Kitten" [Dumbass]

300-pound bronze female sculpture disappears in Rhode Island, possibly headed to the Jersey shore [Amusing]

Is it still considered stealing if you pay for it? [Strange]

Not news: Facing a year in jail for criminal possession of a weapon after hitting a cop. Fark: With a snowball [Fail]

Study finds obesity and depression to be a vicious circle. Circular, like a doughnut right? [Obvious]

Your mom may not be the slut we thought she was but your dad is still a horny old bastard [Obvious]

New theme park opening for people with special needs. Cartman already preparing with a rock montage [Sappy]

Just a tip: If you need to drive over to the police station for business, sober up first [PSA]

Think about your six closest friends. Now try to guess which one has herpes [Scary]

By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you Man and ... pillow [Weird]

Corey Haim officially out of the running for Lost Boys sequel [Sad]

If you're a police officer who enjoys rubbing your penis on cars, you might want to skip mentioning that in your blog [Strange]

Psycho killer...signs himself...out of the ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-hospital, then he...runs runs runs runs, runs runs runs away [Scary]

It's official: Good-looking women like Lara Logan, Melissa Theuriau, and Debra LaFave still have edge in virtually everything over plain-looking women [Obvious]

Nicholas Sarkozy and Carla Bruni are both having affairs. France surrenders [Obvious]

Iron Photoshop: Hotwheels [Photoshop]

Ten coolest college courses, or; Why college is a joke nowadays [Cool]

The nicest nurse in the world fired for having sex with grieving men who just lost their wives to cancer [Sad]

Today's female teacher arrested for having sex with student brought to you by sunny Burbank, California (w/you know you'd hit that pic) [Dumbass]

Chuck Norris would be 70 today if time wasn't afraid of him [Hero]

And the next extreme sport is: Coupon clipping. Wait, what? [Unlikely]